This post is called IRONY...or, maybe, another sign that I am on the right path...

I probably glamorize teaching more than I should...but if I can't do it now, when can I? For now, it's a dream, and I have spent so many years of my life not knowing what it is I was meant to BE (when I grow up!). Now I do, and there have been a number of signs along the way that I am exactly where I need to be.


Last week, my son's teacher suggested that he has "an attention deficit." She didn't say he has ADD because...she can't. But it was definitely implied.


So this isn't a beautifully poetic sign, but for me, it's a sign nonetheless.


A year ago, I would have been so upset to hear her words.


Now, it is a concern for me obviously, but I took a course on special education this semester; and I know more...I understand more...and I am not terrified.


I have begun the process of speaking with my children's pediatrician. Paperwork has been distributed to my son's kindergarten teacher. It's going to be okay.


I have my own thoughts about my son's issues in school. It may be a maturity issue. He started kindergarten as a 4 year old and turned 5 in September. If he was born only a month later, he wouldn't have been able to start kindergarten at all this year (and, in fact, I think the dates are changing in this state so that a child born in early September will not be able to start kindergarten next year).


His issue is not cognitive. I asked his teacher if we should start considering the possibility of holding him back a year (because I will make decisions for my kids out of love and concern and not out of stubbornness and focus on my own ego-- you know how parents can be..."my child is a GENIUS! No TV, no candy, I am SUPERPARENT!" I keep it real, y'all. I am doing the best I can, and I will be honest about it!), and his teacher said absolutely not. He'd be bored. He is very intelligent orally. He just doesn't complete his work, doesn't stay focused, fiddles with his fingers and shoes, is easily distracted, etc.

My initial feeling when notes were being sent home was that he is just immature. Also, I felt a little resentful that all I ever heard was negative things. Maybe I am a little insecure, too...if I want to be a teacher, shouldn't my kids be wonderfully behaved and ahead of their classmates in academics? But it doesn't work that way around here... I have the utmost respect for homeschooling moms and dads because I don't know how they do it. I care about my children's education more than any teacher they will ever have because I care about who they are, who they are becoming, and who they will be in the future. But I also care that they get to come home and play and be kids, too. I can't be their "home teacher" and their facilitator of fun and relaxation, can I? Am I expected to have the smartest, brightest kids in the class if I am an educator? Don't get me wrong. I make them complete their homework, and I check it. We talk about school quite a bit. I volunteer. I am INVOLVED! And I even have my daughter (a second grader) adding and subtracting three and four digit numbers because I have a thing about girls and math! (I am old enough to have had a teacher tell me that girls just can't "do" math and science the way boys can!) I care...I really, really care. But the night time has to be our time together- just to be us- too.

My son is a sweetheart. I do not like the label of ADD/ADHD because it is associated with the stereotype of the "bad" kid. I do not like the label of ADD because I feel like I have to defend my child and say NO, REALLY, he IS a sweetheart! But am I starting to see some of the ADD characteristics (he is not hyperactive) in his behavior? Yes.

So where do I go from here? There are many different sides to this whole thing. First, I am glad that I have had the opportunity to research this disability (both in introduction to special education and general psychology). I know it is a real thing even though many suggest otherwise. I know it can be debilitating to those affected by it. I am glad that I can appreciate ADD/ADHD for what it is- something real, something serious.

I am not totally convinced that Scotty will not just grow out of his immaturity (?), and he is so young to be diagnosed with ADD (though there are others in his class who have been!). Medication is completely out of the question until one of two things happens: 1) he is unable to develop cognitively because of it, or 2) he is mentally suffering (self-esteem issues, depression, etc.) because of it.

I know enough to know that it is better to get the diagnosis and share it with the school so he can receive those special services. ...so maybe they will see him as having a disability instead of being a "bad" kid.

I have to say that his teacher has been WONDERFUL through all of this. She has developed a behavior modification system for him, and truthfully, because of her, he has already been receiving "special services."

I wonder if I will be viewed negatively because I will not be medicating my child in the foreseeable future. Like so many other things, this situation has taught me a valuable lesson that I will use in my future career. It is not fair to judge a parent's decision to medicate or not to medicate based on a limited amount of information. I have been guilty of this just this semester in my field experience. My mentor teacher has five students with ADD/ADHD, and some of them were not on medication. Some of them went back and forth between being on and off medication. My mentor teacher viewed this very negatively so I did as well. Now I know that I can't judge parental decisions after only knowing a child so briefly. It is not my job to judge. It's my job to educate students to the best of my ability in ways that target my students' abilities. It is my job as a mom to make the best choices I can for my children, and it is only fair that I give other parents the respect they deserve for helping their own children in the best way they know how to do so.