Little Girl "V"

To complete a field experience requirement, I am working with a local elementary school's mentoring program. The program is for those children who are behind in reading and writing skills, and volunteers from the community come in to work with them one-on-one. I have enjoyed it and plan to continue volunteering throughout my preservice program.

I have been assigned one little girl in particular, a first grader, "V."

I have always said that I have a natural ability to make animals, children, and elderly people fall in love with me. This is something I have always been proud of, and I can think of no other's opinion more valuable to me.

Deciding to pursue a career in education was a process, but it was as though it was starring me in the face all along. I pride myself in being able to connect with kids in a way that goes beyond words. I have experienced this connection with even middle school and high school kids. I can only describe it as a mutually unspoken acknowledgement. I care about kids, and they know it.

So I was not prepared to lack this connection with "V."

From my understanding, "V" is very emotional. She is frustrated easily, and she is known to give up and shut down and refuse to work any further. She cries loudly and can no longer be reached when this happens.

Foolishly, I thought she would see me and instantly fall in love, and we would have a partnership. I would validate her efforts, and she would want to be validated.

This hasn't happened completely.

Like some of the other children did, "V" didn't necessarily want to be partnered with me. She has pushed the limits with me, and she has made it clear that no amount of praise will make her do something she just doesn't want to do.

During our time together, we complete several short activities, but mostly, she is to read aloud to me. At first, I offered her no help (as was modeled for me by the program director). If she did not know a word, she was required to sound it out, letter by letter. This caused her great frustration. On one particularly difficult day, she shut down and cried, like I was told she would do. She went back to her class, and I felt defeated.

Then I decided to offer her help on more difficult (5 letter) words, but I quickly determined that she would insist on help with even very simple words like "it."

Needless to say, it has been a struggle.

I am starting to see that she has become more comfortable with me, but I wish she was more attached to me. I think that if she was, she would want to work harder to please me. I compliment her on her progress excessively, thinking she will gain intrinsic rewards and will become motivated to continue progressing. I have to think of other ways to reach her.

She does not know that she is teaching me, too. She is teaching me that I will have students who adore me and those that don't, but they all have to be equally adored by me. And that won't be easy. But it will be necessary.

Technology is not for everyone!

I was recently in a local elementary school completing a field experience and encountered a very disturbing situation.

At least two of our local elementary schools have computer programs for signing in and out of the school. This is, obviously, amazing.

I think most of us assume that everyone in this country has seen a computer, has used a computer, and is also good at manipulating computers. But we are wrong.

On this day, I watched as a Hispanic mother and father attempted to check out their son on this system. The front office clerk gave them some simple instructions and went on her way. Unfortunately for them, they did not speak much English.

I watched them struggle for a few minutes (I was waiting behind them to sign in myself). I wanted to step in immediately, but at the same time, I didn't want to be condescending and just assume they ddn't know what they were doing.

Some people take longer with computers than other people.

Finally, I realized they didn't know how even to move the mouse so I stepped in. Meanwhile, the front office lady is oblivious to what was going on.

The father said, "I'm sorry. I have never used a computer."

I told him that was okay and helped him. It pretty much broke my heart that he was made to feel incompetent.

I'm sure they aren't the only ones, too. A simple set of instruction, in English and Spanish, would have made a big difference. ...Or just a little awareness on the part of the office clerk.

I witnessed first hand how technology is not in everyone's life. Now I just have to apply that knowledge to my future classroom.

Brought me to tears and laughter and goosebumps...

What Do Teachers Make by Taylor Mali

(warning: strong language...but it's definitely beautiful!)

Parental...support?

I am a mom first.

And that has made some aspects of my life hard as of late.

I want to eventually get a job in my community, and because of this, I am very concerned about my reputation.

I should say at this point that I have a very G rated life. Very. So I'm not in anyway referring to my personal life.

I am referring, rather, to my interaction with my children's teachers and other school administrators.

Where is the line between being the mom and being the future teacher?

For example, last winter I got into a car accident in the parent pick-up line after complaining several times about the accumulation of ice on this school's roads. Fortunately, no one was hurt. It did, however, cost several hundred dollars to fix my car. I was told by several people that I should have gotten the police involved and made a case to have the school system pay for my damages. Instead, I sucked it up, preferring not to make trouble. I do, afterall, want these people to hire me in a couple of years.

This year, I have had some concerns about my son's classroom environment. Not because he has a bad teacher. Quite the opposite. My kids have been blessed with wonderful teachers, all of whom I have liked very much. I am only concerned because my son is on the immature side and the youngest in his class. He is a SWEET SWEET boy, but he is pesky; and I'll be the first to admit it. So when he is denied snack or the use of his blanket at nap time, it makes me wonder if those decisions are based in love or frustration.

But where do I go with these thoughts? I have addressed some concerns in the past but always felt the need to apologize profusely. It's like the power is not in my hands. And it needs to be. For me. For my child.

I am glad I am a mother who wants to be a teacher. I think it will give me a better sense of how I should approach parents and solicit help from them.

But I have been thinking...is parental "support" the right term?

When I get letters home that say, "homework page 3 (or whatever else), thanks for your support," I want to say...

"No, thank you for YOUR support. I am my children's mother. They are my children. You are helping me. It's not the other way around."

Perhaps I am thinking too much about this, but I think there is a line here. It's not okay to assume that parents will ONLY help their children if educators ask them to. It's not okay to assume that educators care more about the education of their students than their own parents.

I have also gotten newsletters sent home that are slightly condescending. Writing in all caps: NO LUNCH BOXES WHATSOEVER (for a field trip) seems a little unnecessary. I know that teachers are getting less and less parental support, and this could not come at a worse time with the accountability issues presented in NCLB; but I think parents should still be treated as equals...no, they should be treated as the PARENTS. With dignity. With respect. And certainly not as imbeciles. If a child is doing poorly in school, it should NOT be assumed that the parent is not doing everything she can to help her child or that she simply doesn't care.

Educators support a parent's efforts to raise happy, functioning members of society. It's not the other way around.

"my program"

I had the most wonderful professor last semester for an introduction to education class. It was my first education class so I was bound to learn a lot, but she is am amazing person; and she inspired me so much. She is the mom of four (twice as many children as I have), a wife, and a professional lady who has not only worked in secondary school, but was also an administrator before teaching on the college level...AND she earned her doctorate...AND she is only a few years older than me. Wow. Simply wow.

I grew very fond of her, and I knew I would miss her after the semester was over. I do miss her, but I am glad I had the chance to take one of her classes. At one point in the semester, she gave me the absolute best compliment. She said, "you are going to be a great teacher. I would be thrilled if you were one of my children's teachers." As a mother myself, I completely understand what a special gift she gave me in those words.

Toward the end of the semester, she said to me, "good luck with the rest of your program." It was the first time in my life that I have felt like a professional. And it feels good.

I am a little more than half way through my second semester in "my program," and I am so completely happy with it. I have been blessed with brilliant professors, all of who have affected me and my future as an educator in a profound way. I feel as though my program started at the top of a pyramid, and I brought to it my own experiences and thoughts about education and brought to it my heart- truly and fully. I am still somewhere toward the top of that pyramid, but my knowledge about the profession of teaching and my own beliefs and goals are becoming more sophisticated and layered. By the time I am finished with my program, the base of my pyramid will be so broad and dense and thick with knowledge and ideas and aspirations, but it doesn't have to end there. My pyramid can be as big as I make it: it can be larger than life if I keep learning, keep growing, keep expanding on that initial desire to teach...and to make a difference in this world, one beautiful, wonderful, special child at a time.

I want to be that educator everyone wants to have teach his or her child.

Thank you, Dr. Howell...

Why Teaching?

I am the product of my generation in so many ways. We were handed the world. With such limited direction. I entered college straight out of high school. I wanted to be a writer, the only thing, perhaps, that got me through adolescence. And I wrote a lot about the world as it existed in my tiny bubble. And I avoided attending classes, and I eventually dropped out. I lived among those like me: those struggling to find their place in the world, those wanting a little piece of immortality to claim as their own.

And then I had two babies.

And then the whole wide world opened up.

My children became my immortality. My children became my purpose and my meaning. They still are, and they always will be.

I started school again as a mother to a 2 year old and a nine month old, and I set out on a short-lived course to become a nurse. Somehow, it didn't fit. Then I was a history major, so inspired by my professors. Then, I wanted to be a mathematician and then a sociologist. And a lot of different things, too. I so love school.

When my daughter turned five and entered into kindergarten, I volunteered in her classroom. I volunteered for picture day and the book fair, too, and began seeing all children as I see my own. Each and every one someone's sweet baby. Then, suddenly, it was crystal clear.

It is my place in this world to affect the lives of children in a positive and meaningful way.

I am sure that like all educators and future educators surely believe, I have a special gift to truly connect to children. It is something between authority and being a child myself, but it is there. An unexplainable feeling, something deep inside. Moments when we smile at each other and that little person just knows...I care.

Last semester, I had a field experience in a fifth grade classroom. I have a somewhat difficult last name in this area, and so one little guy, "J," looked at me and said, "I'll call you Mrs. A." That was it. I had arrived.

Why I Chose the Title of this Blog

Like many college students (and I would venture to say, especially "non-traditional" college students), my life is almost unmanageable. Between my husband's schedule, keeping up with my children's school work and trying to regularly volunteer at their school, my course work and field experiences, and (sometimes) effectively running my home, I feel like I am in a constant battle just to BREATHE.

However, I choose to see my future as a teacher not as something that may or may not happen depending on my actions, but instead as something that is out there- that IS. I am just on my path to get there.

I did not title this blog "This is How I Will Become a Teacher" because my future is much more clear. I chose the title of this blog because I am certain that in my lifetime I became a teacher. Completely, totally, wholeheartedly certain.

About Me!

My name is Tiffany Allemand, and I am a junior education major (K-6) at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, Tennessee. I have two years left in the program before I become a teacher. I have created this blog in response to APSU's Learning 2.0- 23 Things, a project that I am required to complete for an instructional technology class and a learning experience that has opened my eyes to the vast amount of knowledge and community on the web. I hope to use this blog to reflect along my path to becoming a teacher, to reach out to other edubloggers in time, and to share my own thoughts and vision of the profession of teaching with others.